If you wanna steal my heart, steal it like you mean it.
I’ve fallen in love with so many artists in these couple of days. It feels like I’ve deprived myself of music for the past year and it’s come gushing back. I am your prodigal child of music.
To rattle off, here’s a couple.
The Script – The Man Who Can’t Be Moved
Mocca – Secret Admirer and The Best Thing
Marit Larsen – I’ve Heard Your Love Songs and Steal My Heart (She’s once part of M2M… Now croon with me, don’t say you love me, you don’t even know me, if you really want me… )
Let’s see, tons of things on my mind I’ve been wanting to write about but found no impetus for the ink to start flowing and the keyboards to start tapping.
Basically, on the work front, I’m at a crossroads. Whilst I love my colleagues, it’s not a place I see myself growing and ascending the corporate ladder. Whilst I am ambitious, I’ve experienced enough of life to know that I will not want to put work before life. So it’s gotta be a balance? I don’t think I’m getting a balance there.
Other than that, I’ve been pretty ok. It’s amazing the number of people who’s expressed their concern for my drinking, the people I’ve worried with my uncharacteristic wildness. Fear not, the wild phase is calculated and controlled. I’m currently quite done with it. I still play hard on the occasions I do party. I guess, on a deeper level, the crazy indulgence was me trying to prove something. That I can party hard when I want to, just that I reined in my wild self when I’m in a relationship out of respect for the other party. That this is not something you can’t control and a lifestyle that you can’t grow out of. This is not something that’s absolutely so much fun that you can do it 4 times a week, every week for a couple of years and not get bored. What is the point of this partying? What is the point of meeting all these partying creatures? Are they your true friends? So I guess I could say that I’ve been there, done that and I still think it’s overated. Though I must say the experience has led me to live life fuller, to enjoy and indulge fully in whatever I’m doing. Also, what’s the point of disagreeing with something when you’re standing on the outside, sometimes you have to join in the fray in order to really say yes I see both sides of the coin and I still stand by my side of the fence.
Besides, remember this control freak doesn’t like to get drunk cos that’d mean losing control? It’s really quite impossible for me to lose control andgo totally crazy. At any point, I could have reined it all back in.
About the guy in the past two posts? He’s still around. Lol. I know. I’m amazed at my propensity to wait considering I generally move like a bullet train. When I come back from my Taiwan trip, it’d have been 3 months. But I guess I’ve not been too encouraging when he tells me something nice. Fine. I admit I’m a blockhead. Which idiot says everybody’s special when the guy tells you that you’re special. This idiot. Yours truly. Roars.
Anyway, I seriously hope he doesn’t find this blog. It’ll be so embarrassing. Bah. But as I said once, liking someone doesn’t mean you have to possess that someone. Sometimes things just don’t work out due to many unforeseen circumstances.
But that said, I guess, sometimes it’s also about the timing. If you drag things too long, things fall into a comfortable state and stay that way, forever. So I’m hoping things move a little. Sometimes a girl needs just a little more security.
And DAMN. I’m 25! The prime of my youth and I’m spending it on him!? Shouldn’t I be dating many many many men?! Rar. But I can’t. I’m a one man woman, even without the obligations of a relationship. Curses.
