time vs love

Much to my amusement, there were some eagles amidst the vultures, or were they eagles all along? Instead of feasting on the.. issue, they’ve descended on me instead. I was pretty surprised, since I honestly have no part in the issue at all. But oh well, I should be used to the whole gossip scene by now eh? But seriously, it was so way off truth that it took me offguard totally. Somehow I have a knack of getting kicked in the ass by gossips, I think I must have been really evil in my past life. I DESERVE THIS. i mean it. i really believe that i did something in my past life to always be the target board for stuff like this.

well. there’s honestly nothing I can do abt the damn issue. i take down the photos i look guilty, i stop hanging out with him i lose my duty to him as a friend, i stop posting photos i also look guilty. i was asking for the names of the ones who were spreading this but i didn’t get them so i’m pretty pissed that i was told this piece of gossip. what’s the deal? i can’t do anything about it, and you’re not gonna equip me with information to be careful in case i say stuff that could be misconstrued then why ruin my mood with such info?

so anyway. logic says ignore it and move on, i’ll try then.

anyway. the guy i was mentioning in my previous posts? he’s kinda gone. he’s either just not that into me, or not ready for a relationship and i think it’s prob a mixture of both. oh well. it’s a bit weird meeting him in the headquarters tho. hmpf.

but i guess maybe i’m not quite ready either. i wouldn’t wanna be in a relationship for the sake of being in one. i still think abt my ex every now and then. tho i go through much longer periods not thinking about him. sometimes, esp when i pms and get pretty emo,  i think about him and how he’d bring cheer to my life. then i turn to logic and figure that we somehow went so wrong in the last phase of our relationship that if we were still together and things status quo he wouldn’t have been there for me anyway. but i do miss our early stages. those were the happiest times of my life. he was the best bf i ever had. someone who contacted me as often as i liked, not too often and not too little. someone who coddled me and scolded me just enough. someone who helped me grow. he was just right. but you know, some things are just not meant to be. i know it’s been pretty long, but here’s something i picked up some time back. time doesn’t heal all wounds. love does. i’m not saying that one should go into another relationship to heal! but i guess, sometimes love heals all wounds, scars and whatnots. tho your motive for a relationship shouldn’t be to heal, but rather cos you love someone else. i don’t know if i’ll ever meet someone who will treat me as well as he did. but i suppose when i next fall in love, i wouldn’t remember those times already or rather i wouldn’t use them to compare. and i’ll just appreciate the next guy as he is. but till then. i acknowledge now, that i am not fully healed yet. but at least i’m living life pretty happily. as happily as i can i guess.